Війна і мир

Chapter 11

           “No,Ican’tagreewithyou!Toliveonlysoasnottodoevilandnottohavetorepentisnotenough.Ilivedlikethat,Ilivedformyselfandruinedmylife.AndonlynowwhenIamliving,oratleasttrying”(Pierre’smodestymadehimcorrecthimself)“toliveforothers,onlynowhaveIunderstoodallthehappinessoflife.No,Ishallnotagreewithyou,andyoudonotreallybelievewhatyouaresaying.”PrinceAndrewlookedsilentlyatPierrewithanironicsmile.

           “Whenyouseemysister,PrincessMary,you’llgetonwithher,”hesaid.“Perhapsyouarerightforyourself,”headdedafterashortpause,“buteveryonelivesinhisownway.Youlivedforyourselfandsayyounearlyruinedyourlifeandonlyfoundhappinesswhenyoubeganlivingforothers.Iexperiencedjustthereverse.Ilivedforglory.—Andafterallwhatisglory?Thesameloveofothers,adesiretodosomethingforthem,adesirefortheirapproval.—SoIlivedforothers,andnotalmost,butquite,ruinedmylife.AndIhavebecomecalmersinceIbegantoliveonlyformyself.”

           “Butwhatdoyoumeanbylivingonlyforyourself?”askedPierre,growingexcited.“Whataboutyourson,yoursister,andyourfather?”

           “Butthat’sjustthesameasmyself—theyarenotothers,”explainedPrinceAndrew.“Theothers,one’sneighbors,leprochain,asyouandPrincessMarycallit,arethechiefsourceofallerrorandevil.Leprochain—yourKievpeasantstowhomyouwanttodogood.”

           AndhelookedatPierrewithamocking,challengingexpression.Heevidentlywishedtodrawhimon.

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