Війна і мир

Chapter 9

           

           Holdinghislittlegirlwithonearm,Nicholasglancedathiswifeand,seeingherguiltyexpression,puthisotherarmaroundherandkissedherhair.

           “MayIkissMamma?”heaskedNatásha.

           Natáshasmiledbashfully.

           “Again!”shecommanded,pointingwithaperemptorygesturetothespotwhereNicholashadplacedthekiss.

           “Idon’tknowwhyyouthinkIamcross,”saidNicholas,replyingtothequestionheknewwasinhiswife’smind.

           “Youhavenoideahowunhappy,howlonely,Ifeelwhenyouarelikethat.Italwaysseemstome...”

           “Mary,don’ttalknonsense.Yououghttobeashamedofyourself!”hesaidgaily.

           “Itseemstobethatyoucan’tloveme,thatIamsoplain...always...andnow...inthiscond...”

           “Oh,howabsurdyouare!Itisnotbeautythatendears,it’slovethatmakesusseebeauty.ItisonlyMalvínasandwomenofthatkindwhoarelovedfortheirbeauty.ButdoIlovemywife?Idon’tloveher,but...Idon’tknowhowtoputit.Withoutyou,orwhensomethingcomesbetweenuslikethis,Iseemlostandcan’tdoanything.NowdoIlovemyfinger?Idon’tloveit,butjusttrytocutitoff!”

           “I’mnotlikethatmyself,butIunderstand.Soyou’renotangrywithme?”

           “Awfullyangry!”hesaid,smilingandgettingup.Andsmoothinghishairhebegantopacetheroom.

           “Doyouknow,Mary,whatI’vebeenthinking?”hebegan,immediatelythinkingaloudinhiswife’spresencenowthattheyhadmadeitup.

           Hedidnotaskifshewasreadytolistentohim.Hedidnotcare.Athoughthadoccurredtohimandsoitbelongedtoheralso.

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