Анна Кареніна

Chapter 20

           

           “WhatamItowritetohim?”saidLevin.“Ihopeyouarenotangrywithhim?”

           “No,nottheleast!”Nikolayanswered,vexedatthequestion.“Tellhimtosendmeadoctor.”

           Threemoredaysofagonyfollowed;thesickmanwasstillinthesamecondition.Thesenseoflongingforhisdeathwasfeltbyeveryonenowatthemeresightofhim,bythewaitersandthehotel-keeperandallthepeoplestayinginthehotel,andthedoctorandMaryaNikolaevnaandLevinandKitty.Thesickmanalonedidnotexpressthisfeeling,butonthecontrarywasfuriousattheirnotgettinghimdoctors,andwentontakingmedicineandtalkingoflife.Onlyatraremoments,whentheopiumgavehimaninstant’srelieffromthenever-ceasingpain,hewouldsometimes,halfasleep,utterwhatwasevermoreintenseinhisheartthaninalltheothers:“Oh,ifitwereonlytheend!”or:“Whenwillitbeover?”

           Hissufferings,steadilygrowingmoreintense,didtheirworkandpreparedhimfordeath.Therewasnopositioninwhichhewasnotinpain,therewasnotaminuteinwhichhewasunconsciousofit,notalimb,notapartofhisbodythatdidnotacheandcausehimagony.Eventhememories,theimpressions,thethoughtsofthisbodyawakenedinhimnowthesameaversionasthebodyitself.Thesightofotherpeople,theirremarks,hisownreminiscences,everythingwasforhimasourceofagony.Thoseabouthimfeltthis,andinstinctivelydidnotallowthemselvestomovefreely,totalk,toexpresstheirwishesbeforehim.Allhislifewasmergedintheonefeelingofsufferinganddesiretoberidofit.

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