Chapter 2

           

           StepanArkadyevitchwasatruthfulmaninhisrelationswithhimself.Hewasincapableofdeceivinghimselfandpersuadinghimselfthatherepentedofhisconduct.Hecouldnotatthisdaterepentofthefactthathe,ahandsome,susceptiblemanofthirty-four,wasnotinlovewithhiswife,themotheroffivelivingandtwodeadchildren,andonlyayearyoungerthanhimself.Allherepentedofwasthathehadnotsucceededbetterinhidingitfromhiswife.Buthefeltallthedifficultyofhispositionandwassorryforhiswife,hischildren,andhimself.Possiblyhemighthavemanagedtoconcealhissinsbetterfromhiswifeifhehadanticipatedthattheknowledgeofthemwouldhavehadsuchaneffectonher.Hehadneverclearlythoughtoutthesubject,buthehadvaguelyconceivedthathiswifemustlongagohavesuspectedhimofbeingunfaithfultoher,andshuthereyestothefact.Hehadevensupposedthatshe,aworn-outwomannolongeryoungorgood-looking,andinnowayremarkableorinteresting,merelyagoodmother,oughtfromasenseoffairnesstotakeanindulgentview.Ithadturnedoutquitetheotherway.

           “Oh,it’sawful!ohdear,ohdear!awful!”StepanArkadyevitchkeptrepeatingtohimself,andhecouldthinkofnothingtobedone.“Andhowwellthingsweregoinguptillnow!howwellwegoton!Shewascontentedandhappyinherchildren;Ineverinterferedwithherinanything;Ilethermanagethechildrenandthehousejustassheliked.It’strueit’sbadherhavingbeenagovernessinourhouse.

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