Chapter 19

           

           ThemistakemadebyAlexeyAlexandrovitchinthat,whenpreparingforseeinghiswife,hehadoverlookedthepossibilitythatherrepentancemightbesincere,andhemightforgiveher,andshemightnotdiethismistakewastwomonthsafterhisreturnfromMoscowbroughthometohiminallitssignificance.Butthemistakemadebyhimhadarisennotsimplyfromhishavingoverlookedthatcontingency,butalsofromthefactthatuntilthatdayofhisinterviewwithhisdyingwife,hehadnotknownhisownheart.Athissickwife’sbedsidehehadforthefirsttimeinhislifegivenwaytothatfeelingofsympatheticsufferingalwaysrousedinhimbythesufferingsofothers,andhithertolookedonbyhimwithshameasaharmfulweakness.Andpityforher,andremorseforhavingdesiredherdeath,andmostofall,thejoyofforgiveness,madehimatonceconscious,notsimplyofthereliefofhisownsufferings,butofaspiritualpeacehehadneverexperiencedbefore.Hesuddenlyfeltthattheverythingthatwasthesourceofhissufferingshadbecomethesourceofhisspiritualjoy;thatwhathadseemedinsolublewhilehewasjudging,blaming,andhating,hadbecomeclearandsimplewhenheforgaveandloved.

           Heforgavehiswifeandpitiedherforhersufferingsandherremorse.HeforgaveVronsky,andpitiedhim,especiallyafterreportsreachedhimofhisdespairingaction.Hefeltmoreforhissonthanbefore.Andheblamedhimselfnowforhavingtakentoolittleinterestinhim.Butforthelittlenewbornbabyhefeltaquitepeculiarsentiment,notofpity,only,butoftenderness.

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