Chapter 29

           

           Annagotintothecarriageagaininanevenworseframeofmindthanwhenshesetoutfromhome.ToherprevioustortureswasaddednowthatsenseofmortificationandofbeinganoutcastwhichshehadfeltsodistinctlyonmeetingKitty.

           “Whereto?Home?”askedPyotr.

           “Yes,home,”shesaid,noteventhinkingnowwhereshewasgoing.

           “Howtheylookedatmeassomethingdreadful,incomprehensible,andcurious!Whatcanhebetellingtheotherwithsuchwarmth?”shethought,staringattwomenwhowalkedby.“Canoneevertellanyonewhatoneisfeeling?ImeanttotellDolly,andit’sagoodthingIdidn’ttellher.Howpleasedshewouldhavebeenatmymisery!Shewouldhaveconcealedit,butherchieffeelingwouldhavebeendelightatmybeingpunishedforthehappinesssheenviedmefor.Kitty,shewouldhavebeenevenmorepleased.HowIcanseethroughher!SheknowsIwasmorethanusuallysweettoherhusband.Andshe’sjealousandhatesme.Andshedespisesme.InhereyesI’manimmoralwoman.IfIwereanimmoralwomanIcouldhavemadeherhusbandfallinlovewithme...ifI’dcaredto.And,indeed,Ididcareto.There’ssomeonewho’spleasedwithhimself,”shethought,asshesawafat,rubicundgentlemancomingtowardsher.Hetookherforanacquaintance,andliftedhisglossyhatabovehisbald,glossyhead,andthenperceivedhismistake.“Hethoughtheknewme.Well,heknowsmeaswellasanyoneintheworldknowsme.Idon’tknowmyself.Iknowmyappetites,astheFrenchsay.

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