Анна Кареніна

Chapter 16

           

           Inthemorningshehadregrettedthatshehadspokentoherhusband,andwishedfornothingsomuchasthatthosewordscouldbeunspoken.Andherethisletterregardedthemasunspoken,andgaveherwhatshehadwanted.Butnowthisletterseemedtohermoreawfulthananythingshehadbeenabletoconceive.

           “He’sright!”shesaid;“ofcourse,he’salwaysright;he’saChristian,he’sgenerous!Yes,vile,basecreature!Andnooneunderstandsitexceptme,andnooneeverwill;andIcan’texplainit.Theysayhe’ssoreligious,sohigh-principled,soupright,soclever;buttheydon’tseewhatI’veseen.Theydon’tknowhowhehascrushedmylifeforeightyears,crushedeverythingthatwaslivinginmehehasnotonceeventhoughtthatI’malivewomanwhomusthavelove.Theydon’tknowhowateverystephe’shumiliatedme,andbeenjustaspleasedwithhimself.Haven’tIstriven,strivenwithallmystrength,tofindsomethingtogivemeaningtomylife?Haven’tIstruggledtolovehim,tolovemysonwhenIcouldnotlovemyhusband?ButthetimecamewhenIknewthatIcouldn’tcheatmyselfanylonger,thatIwasalive,thatIwasnottoblame,thatGodhasmademesothatImustloveandlive.Andnowwhatdoeshedo?Ifhe’dkilledme,ifhe’dkilledhim,Icouldhaveborneanything,Icouldhaveforgivenanything;but,no,he....HowwasitIdidn’tguesswhathewoulddo?He’sdoingjustwhat’scharacteristicofhismeancharacter.He’llkeephimselfintheright,whileme,inmyruin,he’lldrivestilllowertoworseruinyet....

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