Анна Кареніна

Chapter 29

           

           HearingofthecloseintimacybetweenAlexeyAlexandrovitchandCountessLidiaIvanovna,Annadecidedonthethirddaytowritetoheraletter,whichcosthergreatpains,andinwhichsheintentionallysaidthatpermissiontoseehersonmustdependonherhusband’sgenerosity.Sheknewthatiftheletterwereshowntoherhusband,hewouldkeepuphischaracterofmagnanimity,andwouldnotrefuseherrequest.

           Thecommissionairewhotooktheletterhadbroughtherbackthemostcruelandunexpectedanswer,thattherewasnoanswer.Shehadneverfeltsohumiliatedasatthemomentwhen,sendingforthecommissionaire,sheheardfromhimtheexactaccountofhowhehadwaited,andhowafterwardshehadbeentoldtherewasnoanswer.Annafelthumiliated,insulted,butshesawthatfromherpointofviewCountessLidiaIvanovnawasright.Hersufferingwasthemorepoignantthatshehadtobearitinsolitude.ShecouldnotandwouldnotshareitwithVronsky.Sheknewthattohim,althoughhewastheprimarycauseofherdistress,thequestionofherseeinghersonwouldseemamatterofverylittleconsequence.Sheknewthathewouldneverbecapableofunderstandingallthedepthofhersuffering,thatforhiscooltoneatanyallusiontoitshewouldbegintohatehim.Andshedreadedthatmorethananythingintheworld,andsoshehidfromhimeverythingthatrelatedtoherson.Spendingthewholedayathomesheconsideredwaysofseeingherson,andhadreachedadecisiontowritetoherhusband.ShewasjustcomposingthisletterwhenshewashandedtheletterfromLidiaIvanovna.

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