Анна Кареніна

Chapter 22

           ThewholedayIhavehadtobemakingarrangements,arrangementsabouthouseholdmattersarising”(heemphasizedthewordarising)“frommynew,solitaryposition.Theservants,thegoverness,theaccounts....Thesepinprickshavestabbedmetotheheart,andIhavenotthestrengthtobearit.Atdinner...yesterday,Iwasalmostgettingupfromthedinner-table.Icouldnotbearthewaymysonlookedatme.Hedidnotaskmethemeaningofitall,buthewantedtoask,andIcouldnotbearthelookinhiseyes.Hewasafraidtolookatme,butthatisnotall....”AlexeyAlexandrovitchwouldhavereferredtothebillthathadbeenbroughthim,buthisvoiceshook,andhestopped.Thatbillonbluepaper,forahatandribbons,hecouldnotrecallwithoutarushofself-pity.

           “Iunderstand,dearfriend,”saidLidiaIvanovna.“Iunderstanditall.Succorandcomfortyouwillfindnotinme,thoughIhavecomeonlytoaidyouifIcan.IfIcouldtakefromoffyouallthesepetty,humiliatingcares...Iunderstandthatawoman’sword,awoman’ssuperintendenceisneeded.Youwillintrustittome?”

           SilentlyandgratefullyAlexeyAlexandrovitchpressedherhand.

           “TogetherwewilltakecareofSeryozha.Practicalaffairsarenotmystrongpoint.ButIwillsettowork.Iwillbeyourhousekeeper.Don’tthankme.Idoitnotfrommyself....”

           “Icannothelpthankingyou.”

           “But,dearfriend,donotgivewaytothefeelingofwhichyouspokebeingashamedofwhatistheChristian’shighestglory:hewhohumbleshimselfshallbeexalted.Andyoucannotthankme.

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