Анна Кареніна

Chapter 21

           Lettinghisheadsinkintohishands,hesatforalongwhileinthatposition,severaltimesattemptedtospeakandstoppedshort.Korney,perceivinghismaster’semotion,askedtheclerktocallanothertime.Leftalone,AlexeyAlexandrovitchrecognizedthathehadnotthestrengthtokeepupthelineoffirmnessandcomposureanylonger.Hegaveordersforthecarriagethatwasawaitinghimtobetakenback,andfornoonetobeadmitted,andhedidnotgodowntodinner.

           Hefeltthathecouldnotenduretheweightofuniversalcontemptandexasperation,whichhehaddistinctlyseeninthefaceoftheclerkandofKorney,andofeveryone,withoutexception,whomhehadmetduringthosetwodays.Hefeltthathecouldnotturnasidefromhimselfthehatredofmen,becausethathatreddidnotcomefromhisbeingbad(inthatcasehecouldhavetriedtobebetter),butfromhisbeingshamefullyandrepulsivelyunhappy.Heknewthatforthis,fortheveryfactthathisheartwastornwithgrief,theywouldbemercilesstohim.Hefeltthatmenwouldcrushhimasdogsstrangleatorndogyelpingwithpain.Heknewthathissolemeansofsecurityagainstpeoplewastohidehiswoundsfromthem,andinstinctivelyhetriedtodothisfortwodays,butnowhefeltincapableofkeepinguptheunequalstruggle.

           Hisdespairwasevenintensifiedbytheconsciousnessthathewasutterlyaloneinhissorrow.

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