Анна Кареніна

Chapter 19

           IfLevinhadbeenalonenowwithhisbrotherNikolay,hewouldhavelookedathimwithterror,andwithstillgreaterterrorwaited,andwouldnothaveknownwhatelsetodo.

           Morethanthat,hedidnotknowwhattosay,howtolook,howtomove.Totalkofoutsidethingsseemedtohimshocking,impossible,totalkofdeathanddepressingsubjectsalsoimpossible.Tobesilent,alsoimpossible.“IfIlookathimhewillthinkIamstudyinghim,Iamafraid;ifIdon’tlookathim,he’llthinkI’mthinkingofotherthings.IfIwalkontiptoe,hewillbevexed;totreadfirmly,I’mashamed.”Kittyevidentlydidnotthinkofherself,andhadnotimetothinkaboutherself:shewasthinkingabouthimbecausesheknewsomething,andallwentwell.Shetoldhimaboutherselfevenandaboutherwedding,andsmiledandsympathizedwithhimandpettedhim,andtalkedofcasesofrecoveryandallwentwell;sothenshemustknow.TheproofthatherbehaviorandAgafeaMihalovna’swasnotinstinctive,animal,irrational,wasthatapartfromthephysicaltreatment,thereliefofsuffering,bothAgafeaMihalovnaandKittyrequiredforthedyingmansomethingelsemoreimportantthanthephysicaltreatment,andsomethingwhichhadnothingincommonwithphysicalconditions.AgafeaMihalovna,speakingofthemanjustdead,hadsaid:“Well,thankGod,hetookthesacramentandreceivedabsolution;Godgranteachoneofussuchadeath.

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