Анна Кареніна

Chapter 18

           Andnowwhenhehadlearnedtoknowher,toloveherassheshouldbeloved,hehadbeenhumiliatedbeforeher,andhadlostherforever,leavingwithhernothingofhimselfbutashamefulmemory.Mostterribleofallhadbeenhisludicrous,shamefulpositionwhenAlexeyAlexandrovitchhadpulledhishandsawayfromhishumiliatedface.HestoodonthestepsoftheKarenins’houselikeonedistraught,anddidnotknowwhattodo.

           “Asledge,sir?”askedtheporter.

           “Yes,asledge.”

           Ongettinghome,afterthreesleeplessnights,Vronsky,withoutundressing,laydownflatonthesofa,claspinghishandsandlayinghisheadonthem.Hisheadwasheavy.Images,memories,andideasofthestrangestdescriptionfollowedoneanotherwithextraordinaryrapidityandvividness.Firstitwasthemedicinehehadpouredoutforthepatientandspiltoverthespoon,thenthemidwife’swhitehands,thenthequeerpostureofAlexeyAlexandrovitchonthefloorbesidethebed.

           “Tosleep!Toforget!”hesaidtohimselfwiththesereneconfidenceofahealthymanthatifheistiredandsleepy,hewillgotosleepatonce.Andthesameinstanthisheaddidbegintofeeldrowsyandhebegantodropoffintoforgetfulness.Thewavesoftheseaofunconsciousnesshadbeguntomeetoverhishead,whenallatonceitwasasthoughaviolentshockofelectricityhadpassedoverhim.Hestartedsothatheleapeduponthespringsofthesofa,andleaningonhisarmsgotinapanicontohisknees.Hiseyeswerewideopenasthoughhehadneverbeenasleep.

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