Анна Кареніна

Chapter 10

           

           “Youmustunderstand,”saidhe,“it’snotlove.I’vebeeninlove,butit’snotthat.It’snotmyfeeling,butasortofforceoutsidemehastakenpossessionofme.Iwentaway,yousee,becauseImadeupmymindthatitcouldneverbe,youunderstand,asahappinessthatdoesnotcomeonearth;butI’vestruggledwithmyself,Iseethere’snolivingwithoutit.Anditmustbesettled.”

           “Whatdidyougoawayfor?”

           “Ah,stopaminute!Ah,thethoughtsthatcomecrowdingonone!Thequestionsonemustaskoneself!Listen.Youcan’timaginewhatyou’vedoneformebywhatyousaid.I’msohappythatI’vebecomepositivelyhateful;I’veforgotteneverything.IheardtodaythatmybrotherNikolay...youknow,he’shere...Ihadevenforgottenhim.Itseemstomethathe’shappytoo.It’sasortofmadness.Butonething’sawful....Here,you’vebeenmarried,youknowthefeeling...it’sawfulthatweoldwithapast...notoflove,butofsins...arebroughtallatoncesoneartoacreaturepureandinnocent;it’sloathsome,andthat’swhyonecan’thelpfeelingoneselfunworthy.”

           “Oh,well,you’venotmanysinsonyourconscience.”

           “Alas!allthesame,”saidLevin,“whenwithloathingIgoovermylife,Ishudderandcurseandbitterlyregretit....Yes.”

           “Whatwouldyouhave?Theworld’smadeso,”saidStepanArkadyevitch.

           “Theonecomfortislikethatprayer,whichIalwaysliked:‘Forgivemenotaccordingtomyunworthiness,butaccordingtoThyloving-kindness.’That’stheonlywayshecanforgiveme.”

           

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