Анна Кареніна

Chapter 20

           

           “IfItoldhertoleaveherhusband,thatmustmeanunitingherlifewithmine;amIpreparedforthat?HowcanItakeherawaynow,whenIhavenomoney?SupposingIcouldarrange....ButhowcanItakeherawaywhileI’mintheservice?IfIsaythatIoughttobepreparedtodoit,thatis,Ioughttohavethemoneyandtoretirefromthearmy.”

           Andhegrewthoughtful.Thequestionwhethertoretirefromtheserviceornotbroughthimtotheotherandperhapsthechiefthoughhiddeninterestofhislife,ofwhichnoneknewbuthe.

           Ambitionwastheolddreamofhisyouthandchildhood,adreamwhichhedidnotconfesseventohimself,thoughitwassostrongthatnowthispassionwasevendoingbattlewithhislove.Hisfirststepsintheworldandintheservicehadbeensuccessful,buttwoyearsbeforehehadmadeagreatmistake.Anxioustoshowhisindependenceandtoadvance,hehadrefusedapostthathadbeenofferedhim,hopingthatthisrefusalwouldheightenhisvalue;butitturnedoutthathehadbeentoobold,andhewaspassedover.Andhaving,whetherhelikedornot,takenupforhimselfthepositionofanindependentman,hecarrieditoffwithgreattactandgoodsense,behavingasthoughheborenogrudgeagainstanyone,didnotregardhimselfasinjuredinanyway,andcaredfornothingbuttobeleftalonesincehewasenjoyinghimself.Inrealityhehadceasedtoenjoyhimselfaslongagoastheyearbefore,whenhewentawaytoMoscow.

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