Анна Кареніна

Chapter 15

           Themaidbeggedherpardonforcomingin,sayingthatshehadfanciedthebellrang.Shebroughtherclothesandanote.ThenotewasfromBetsy.BetsyremindedherthatLizaMerkalovaandBaronessShtoltzwerecomingtoplaycroquetwithherthatmorningwiththeiradorers,KaluzhskyandoldStremov.“Come,ifonlyasastudyinmorals.Ishallexpectyou,”shefinished.

           Annareadthenoteandheavedadeepsigh.

           “Nothing,Ineednothing,”shesaidtoAnnushka,whowasrearrangingthebottlesandbrushesonthedressingtable.“Youcango.I’lldressatonceandcomedown.Ineednothing.”

           Annushkawentout,butAnnadidnotbegindressing,andsatinthesameposition,herheadandhandshanginglistlessly,andeverynowandthensheshiveredallover,seemedasthoughshewouldmakesomegesture,uttersomeword,andsankbackintolifelessnessagain.Sherepeatedcontinually,“MyGod!myGod!”Butneither“God”nor“my”hadanymeaningtoher.TheideaofseekinghelpinherdifficultyinreligionwasasremotefromherasseekinghelpfromAlexeyAlexandrovitchhimself,althoughshehadneverhaddoubtsofthefaithinwhichshehadbeenbroughtup.Sheknewthatthesupportofreligionwaspossibleonlyuponconditionofrenouncingwhatmadeupforherthewholemeaningoflife.Shewasnotsimplymiserable,shebegantofeelalarmatthenewspiritualcondition,neverexperiencedbefore,inwhichshefoundherself.Shefeltasthougheverythingwerebeginningtobedoubleinhersoul,justasobjectssometimesappeardoubletoover-tiredeyes.

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