Анна Кареніна

Chapter 35

           

           “Anditservesmeright!Anditservesmeright!”Kittycriedquickly,snatchingtheparasoloutofVarenka’shand,andlookingpastherfriend’sface.

           Varenkafeltinclinedtosmile,lookingatherchildishfury,butshewasafraidofwoundingher.

           “Howdoesitserveyouright?Idon’tunderstand,”shesaid.

           “Itservesmeright,becauseitwasallsham;becauseitwasalldoneonpurpose,andnotfromtheheart.WhatbusinesshadItointerferewithoutsiders?Andsoit’scomeaboutthatI’macauseofquarrel,andthatI’vedonewhatnobodyaskedmetodo.Becauseitwasallasham!asham!asham!...”

           “Asham!withwhatobject?”saidVarenkagently.

           “Oh,it’ssoidiotic!sohateful!Therewasnoneedwhateverforme....Nothingbutsham!”shesaid,openingandshuttingtheparasol.

           “Butwithwhatobject?”

           “Toseembettertopeople,tomyself,toGod;todeceiveeveryone.No!nowIwon’tdescendtothat.I’llbebad;butanywaynotaliar,acheat.”

           “Butwhoisacheat?”saidVarenkareproachfully.“Youspeakasif....”

           ButKittywasinoneofhergustsoffury,andshewouldnotletherfinish.

           “Idon’ttalkaboutyou,notaboutyouatall.You’reperfection.Yes,yes,Iknowyou’reallperfection;butwhatamItodoifI’mbad?ThiswouldneverhavebeenifIweren’tbad.SoletmebewhatIam.Iwon’tbeasham.WhathaveItodowithAnnaPavlovna?Letthemgotheirway,andmegomine.Ican’tbedifferent....Andyetit’snotthat,it’snotthat.”

           “Whatisnotthat?”askedVarenkainbewilderment.

           “Everything.

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