Анна Кареніна

Chapter 32

           “IfIcouldonlybeevenalittlelikeyou!”

           “Whyshouldyoubelikeanyone?You’reniceasyouare,”saidVarenka,smilinghergentle,wearysmile.

           “No,I’mnotniceatall.Come,tellme....Stopaminute,let’ssitdown,”saidKitty,makinghersitdownagainbesideher.“Tellme,isn’tithumiliatingtothinkthatamanhasdisdainedyourlove,thathehasn’tcaredforit?...”

           “Buthedidn’tdisdainit;Ibelievehecaredforme,buthewasadutifulson....”

           “Yes,butifithadn’tbeenonaccountofhismother,ifithadbeenhisowndoing?...”saidKitty,feelingshewasgivingawayhersecret,andthatherface,burningwiththeflushofshame,hadbetrayedheralready.

           “Inthatcasehewouldhavedonewrong,andIshouldnothaveregrettedhim,”answeredVarenka,evidentlyrealizingthattheywerenowtalkingnotofher,butofKitty.

           “Butthehumiliation,”saidKitty,“thehumiliationonecanneverforget,canneverforget,”shesaid,rememberingherlookatthelastballduringthepauseinthemusic.

           “Whereisthehumiliation?Why,youdidnothingwrong?”

           “Worsethanwrongshameful.”

           VarenkashookherheadandlaidherhandonKitty’shand.

           “Why,whatisthereshameful?”shesaid.“Youdidn’ttellaman,whodidn’tcareforyou,thatyoulovedhim,didyou?”

           “Ofcoursenot;Ineversaidaword,butheknewit.No,no,therearelooks,thereareways;Ican’tforgetit,ifIliveahundredyears.”

           “Whyso?Idon’tunderstand.Thewholepointiswhetheryoulovehimnowornot,”saidVarenka,whocalledeverythingbyitsname.

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