Анна Кареніна

Chapter 26

           

           “Igottiredofit,AgafeaMihalovna.Withfriends,oneiswell;butathome,oneisbetter,”heanswered,andwentintohisstudy.

           Thestudywasslowlylitupasthecandlewasbroughtin.Thefamiliardetailscameout:thestag’shorns,thebookshelves,thelooking-glass,thestovewithitsventilator,whichhadlongwantedmending,hisfather’ssofa,alargetable,onthetableanopenbook,abrokenashtray,amanuscriptbookwithhishandwriting.Ashesawallthis,therecameoverhimforaninstantadoubtofthepossibilityofarrangingthenewlife,ofwhichhehadbeendreamingontheroad.Allthesetracesofhislifeseemedtoclutchhim,andtosaytohim:“No,you’renotgoingtogetawayfromus,andyou’renotgoingtobedifferent,butyou’regoingtobethesameasyou’vealwaysbeen;withdoubts,everlastingdissatisfactionwithyourself,vaineffortstoamend,andfalls,andeverlastingexpectation,ofahappinesswhichyouwon’tget,andwhichisn’tpossibleforyou.”

           Thisthethingssaidtohim,butanothervoiceinhisheartwastellinghimthathemustnotfallundertheswayofthepast,andthatonecandoanythingwithoneself.Andhearingthatvoice,hewentintothecornerwherestoodhistwoheavydumbbells,andbeganbrandishingthemlikeagymnast,tryingtorestorehisconfidenttemper.Therewasacreakofstepsatthedoor.Hehastilyputdownthedumbbells.

           Thebailiffcamein,andsaideverything,thankGod,wasdoingwell;butinformedhimthatthebuckwheatinthenewdryingmachinehadbeenalittlescorched.ThispieceofnewsirritatedLevin.

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