Анна Кареніна

Chapter 12

           Andthismeaning,inspiteofitsclearness,ismysteriousandmarvelous.Such,indeed,isthemeaningofeverythingexisting.Yes,pride,”hesaidtohimself,turningoveronhisstomachandbeginningtotieanooseofbladesofgrass,tryingnottobreakthem.

           “Andnotmerelyprideofintellect,butdulnessofintellect.Andmostofall,thedeceitfulness;yes,thedeceitfulnessofintellect.Thecheatingknavishnessofintellect,that’sit,”hesaidtohimself.

           Andhebrieflywentthrough,mentally,thewholecourseofhisideasduringthelasttwoyears,thebeginningofwhichwastheclearconfrontingofdeathatthesightofhisdearbrotherhopelesslyill.

           Then,forthefirsttime,graspingthatforeveryman,andhimselftoo,therewasnothinginstorebutsuffering,death,andforgetfulness,hehadmadeuphismindthatlifewasimpossiblelikethat,andthathemusteitherinterpretlifesothatitwouldnotpresentitselftohimastheeviljestofsomedevil,orshoothimself.

           Buthehadnotdoneeither,buthadgoneonliving,thinking,andfeeling,andhadevenatthatverytimemarried,andhadhadmanyjoysandhadbeenhappy,whenhewasnotthinkingofthemeaningofhislife.

           Whatdidthismean?Itmeantthathehadbeenlivingrightly,butthinkingwrongly.

           Hehadlived(withoutbeingawareofit)onthosespiritualtruthsthathehadsuckedinwithhismother’smilk,buthehadthought,notmerelywithoutrecognitionofthesetruths,butstudiouslyignoringthem.

           Nowitwascleartohimthathecouldonlylivebyvirtueofthebeliefsinwhichhehadbeenbroughtup

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