Анна Кареніна

Chapter 28

           Ah,thespringsatMitishtchen,andthepancakes!”

           Andsherememberedhow,long,longago,whenshewasagirlofseventeen,shehadgonewithheraunttoTroitsa.“Riding,too.Wasthatreallyme,withredhands?Howmuchthatseemedtomethensplendidandoutofreachhasbecomeworthless,whilewhatIhadthenhasgoneoutofmyreachforever!CouldIeverhavebelievedthenthatIcouldcometosuchhumiliation?Howconceitedandself-satisfiedhewillbewhenhegetsmynote!ButIwillshowhim....Howhorridthatpaintsmells!Whyisitthey’realwayspaintingandbuilding?Modesetrobes,sheread.Amanbowedtoher.ItwasAnnushka’shusband.“Ourparasites”;sherememberedhowVronskyhadsaidthat.“Our?Whyour?What’ssoawfulisthatonecan’ttearupthepastbyitsroots.Onecan’ttearitout,butonecanhideone’smemoryofit.AndI’llhideit.”AndthenshethoughtofherpastwithAlexeyAlexandrovitch,ofhowshehadblottedthememoryofitoutofherlife.“DollywillthinkI’mleavingmysecondhusband,andsoIcertainlymustbeinthewrong.AsifIcaredtoberight!Ican’thelpit!”shesaid,andshewantedtocry.Butatonceshefelltowonderingwhatthosetwogirlscouldbesmilingabout.“Love,mostlikely.Theydon’tknowhowdrearyitis,howlow....Theboulevardandthechildren.Threeboysrunning,playingathorses.Seryozha!AndI’mlosingeverythingandnotgettinghimback.Yes,I’mlosingeverything,ifhedoesn’treturn.Perhapshewaslateforthetrainandhascomebackbynow.

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