Анна Кареніна

Chapter 26

           Shewasexpectinghimthewholeday,andintheevening,asshewenttoherownroom,leavingamessageforhimthatherheadached,shesaidtoherself,“Ifhecomesinspiteofwhatthemaidsays,itmeansthathelovesmestill.Ifnot,itmeansthatallisover,andthenIwilldecidewhatI’mtodo!...”

           Intheeveningsheheardtherumblingofhiscarriagestopattheentrance,hisring,hisstepsandhisconversationwiththeservant;hebelievedwhatwastoldhim,didnotcaretofindoutmore,andwenttohisownroom.Sotheneverythingwasover.

           Anddeathroseclearlyandvividlybeforehermindasthesolemeansofbringingbackloveforherinhisheart,ofpunishinghimandofgainingthevictoryinthatstrifewhichtheevilspiritinpossessionofherheartwaswagingwithhim.

           Nownothingmattered:goingornotgoingtoVozdvizhenskoe,gettingornotgettingadivorcefromherhusbandallthatdidnotmatter.Theonethingthatmatteredwaspunishinghim.Whenshepouredherselfoutherusualdoseofopium,andthoughtthatshehadonlytodrinkoffthewholebottletodie,itseemedtohersosimpleandeasy,thatshebeganmusingwithenjoymentonhowhewouldsuffer,andrepentandlovehermemorywhenitwouldbetoolate.Shelayinbedwithopeneyes,bythelightofasingleburned-downcandle,gazingatthecarvedcorniceoftheceilingandattheshadowofthescreenthatcoveredpartofit,whileshevividlypicturedtoherselfhowhewouldfeelwhenshewouldbenomore,whenshewouldbeonlyamemorytohim.“HowcouldIsaysuchcruelthingstoher?”hewouldsay.

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