Анна Кареніна

Chapter 24

           

           Thoughtsofwhereshewouldgonow,whethertotheauntwhohadbroughtherup,toDolly,orsimplyaloneabroad,andofwhathewasdoingnowaloneinhisstudy;whetherthiswasthefinalquarrel,orwhetherreconciliationwerestillpossible;andofwhatallheroldfriendsatPetersburgwouldsayofhernow;andofhowAlexeyAlexandrovitchwouldlookatit,andmanyotherideasofwhatwouldhappennowafterthisrupture,cameintoherhead;butshedidnotgiveherselfuptothemwithallherheart.Atthebottomofherheartwassomeobscureideathataloneinterestedher,butshecouldnotgetclearsightofit.ThinkingoncemoreofAlexeyAlexandrovitch,sherecalledthetimeofherillnessafterherconfinement,andthefeelingwhichneverleftheratthattime.“Whydidn’tIdie?”andthewordsandthefeelingofthattimecamebacktoher.Andallatoncesheknewwhatwasinhersoul.Yes,itwasthatideawhichalonesolvedall.“Yes,todie!...AndtheshameanddisgraceofAlexeyAlexandrovitchandofSeryozha,andmyawfulshame,itwillallbesavedbydeath.Todie!andhewillfeelremorse;willbesorry;willloveme;hewillsufferonmyaccount.”Withthetraceofasmileofcommiserationforherselfshesatdowninthearmchair,takingoffandputtingontheringsonherlefthand,vividlypicturingfromdifferentsideshisfeelingsafterherdeath.

           Approachingfootstepshisstepsdistractedherattention.Asthoughabsorbedinthearrangementofherrings,shedidnoteventurntohim

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