Анна Кареніна

Chapter 24

           Shebentherhead,andwithshining,weteyeslookedfromunderherbrowsatDolly,athinlittlepitifulfigureinherpatcheddressingjacketandnightcap,shakingalloverwithemotion.

           “ItisonlythosetwocreaturesthatIlove,andoneexcludestheother.Ican’thavethemtogether,andthat’stheonlythingIwant.AndsinceIcan’thavethat,Idon’tcareabouttherest.Idon’tcareaboutanything,anything.Anditwillendonewayoranother,andsoIcan’t,Idon’tliketotalkofit.Sodon’tblameme,don’tjudgemeforanything.Youcan’twithyourpureheartunderstandallthatI’msuffering.”Shewentup,satdownbesideDolly,andwithaguiltylook,peepedintoherfaceandtookherhand.

           “Whatareyouthinking?Whatareyouthinkingaboutme?Don’tdespiseme.Idon’tdeservecontempt.I’msimplyunhappy.Ifanyoneisunhappy,Iam,”shearticulated,andturningaway,sheburstintotears.

           Leftalone,DaryaAlexandrovnasaidherprayersandwenttobed.ShehadfeltforAnnawithallherheartwhileshewasspeakingtoher,butnowshecouldnotforceherselftothinkofher.Thememoriesofhomeandofherchildrenroseupinherimaginationwithapeculiarcharmquitenewtoher,withasortofnewbrilliance.Thatworldofherownseemedtohernowsosweetandpreciousthatshewouldnotonanyaccountspendanextradayoutsideit,andshemadeuphermindthatshewouldcertainlygobacknextday.

           Annameantimewentbacktoherboudoir,tookawine-glassanddroppedintoitseveraldropsofamedicine,ofwhichtheprincipalingredientwasmorphine.

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