Война и мир

Chapter 18

           

           “BesideshowcanIasktheEmperorforhisinstructionsfortherightflanknowthatitisnearlyfouro’clockandthebattleislost?No,certainlyImustnotapproachhim,Imustnotintrudeonhisreflections.Betterdieathousandtimesthanriskreceivinganunkindlookorbadopinionfromhim,”Rostóvdecided;andsorrowfullyandwithaheartfulldespairherodeaway,continuallylookingbackattheTsar,whostillremainedinthesameattitudeofindecision.

           WhileRostóvwasthusarguingwithhimselfandridingsadlyaway,CaptainvonTollchancedtoridetothesamespot,andseeingtheEmperoratoncerodeuptohim,offeredhisservices,andassistedhimtocrosstheditchonfoot.TheEmperor,wishingtorestandfeelingunwell,satdownunderanappletreeandvonTollremainedbesidehim.RostóvfromadistancesawwithenvyandremorsehowvonTollspokelongandwarmlytotheEmperorandhowtheEmperor,evidentlyweeping,coveredhiseyeswithhishandandpressedvonToll’shand.

           “AndImighthavebeeninhisplace!”thoughtRostóv,andhardlyrestraininghistearsofpityfortheEmperor,herodeoninutterdespair,notknowingwheretoorwhyhewasnowriding.

           Hisdespairwasallthegreaterfromfeelingthathisownweaknesswasthecauseofhisgrief.

           Hemight...notonlymightbutshould,havegoneuptothesovereign.ItwasauniquechancetoshowhisdevotiontotheEmperorandhehadnotmadeuseofit....“WhathaveIdone?”thoughthe.AndheturnedroundandgallopedbacktotheplacewherehehadseentheEmperor,buttherewasnoonebeyondtheditchnow.

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