Война и мир

Chapter 18

           TheEmperorwaspale,hischeekssunkenandhiseyeshollow,butthecharm,themildnessofhisfeatures,wasallthegreater.RostóvwashappyintheassurancethattherumorsabouttheEmperorbeingwoundedwerefalse.Hewashappytobeseeinghim.HeknewthathemightandevenoughttogostraighttohimandgivethemessageDolgorúkovhadorderedhimtodeliver.

           Butasayouthinlovetrembles,isunnerved,anddaresnotutterthethoughtshehasdreamedoffornights,butlooksaroundforhelporachanceofdelayandflightwhenthelonged-formomentcomesandheisalonewithher,soRostóv,nowthathehadattainedwhathehadlongedformorethananythingelseintheworld,didnotknowhowtoapproachtheEmperor,andathousandreasonsoccurredtohimwhyitwouldbeinconvenient,unseemly,andimpossibletodoso.

           “What!ItisasifIweregladofachancetotakeadvantageofhisbeingaloneanddespondent!Astrangefacemayseemunpleasantorpainfultohimatthismomentofsorrow;besides,whatcanIsaytohimnow,whenmyheartfailsmeandmymouthfeelsdryatthemeresightofhim?”NotoneoftheinnumerablespeechesaddressedtotheEmperorthathehadcomposedinhisimaginationcouldhenowrecall.Thosespeecheswereintendedforquiteotherconditions,theywereforthemostparttobespokenatamomentofvictoryandtriumph,generallywhenhewasdyingofwoundsandthesovereignhadthankedhimforheroicdeeds,andwhiledyingheexpressedthelovehisactionshadproved.

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