Война и мир

Chapter 8

           Sherecalledallherlifewithhimandineverywordandactofhisfoundanexpressionofhisloveofher.Occasionallyamidthesememoriestemptationsofthedevilwouldsurgeintoherimagination:thoughtsofhowthingswouldbeafterhisdeath,andhowhernew,liberatedlifewouldbeordered.Butshedrovethesethoughtsawaywithdisgust.Towardmorninghebecamequietandshefellasleep.

           Shewokelate.Thatsinceritywhichoftencomeswithwakingshowedherclearlywhatchieflyconcernedheraboutherfather’sillness.Onwakingshelistenedtowhatwasgoingonbehindthedoorand,hearinghimgroan,saidtoherselfwithasighthatthingswerestillthesame.

           “Butwhatcouldhavehappened?WhatdidIwant?Iwanthisdeath!”shecriedwithafeelingofloathingforherself.

           Shewashed,dressed,saidherprayers,andwentouttotheporch.Infrontofitstoodcarriageswithouthorsesandthingswerebeingpackedintothevehicles.

           Itwasawarm,graymorning.PrincessMarystoppedattheporch,stillhorrifiedbyherspiritualbasenessandtryingtoarrangeherthoughtsbeforegoingtoherfather.Thedoctorcamedownstairsandwentouttoher.

           “Heisalittlebettertoday,”saidhe.“Iwaslookingforyou.Onecanmakeoutsomethingofwhatheissaying.Hisheadisclearer.Comein,heisaskingforyou....”

           PrincessMary’sheartbeatsoviolentlyatthisnewsthatshegrewpaleandleanedagainstthewalltokeepfromfalling.Toseehim,talktohim,feelhiseyesonhernowthatherwholesoulwasoverflowingwiththosedreadful,wickedtemptations,wasatormentofjoyandterror.

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