Война и мир

Chapter 16

           Whenduringthosefirstdaysherememberedthathewouldhavetodie,hesaidtohimself:“Well,whatofit?Somuchthebetter!”

           ButafterthenightinMytíshchiwhen,halfdelirious,hehadseenherforwhomhelongedappearbeforehimand,havingpressedherhandtohislips,hadshedgentle,happytears,loveforaparticularwomanagaincreptunobservedintohisheartandoncemoreboundhimtolife.Andjoyfulandagitatingthoughtsbegantooccupyhismind.RecallingthemomentattheambulancestationwhenhehadseenKurágin,hecouldnotnowregainthefeelinghethenhad,butwastormentedbythequestionwhetherKuráginwasalive.Andhedarednotinquire.

           Hisillnesspursueditsnormalphysicalcourse,butwhatNatáshareferredtowhenshesaid:“Thissuddenlyhappened,”hadoccurredtwodaysbeforePrincessMaryarrived.Itwasthelastspiritualstrugglebetweenlifeanddeath,inwhichdeathgainedthevictory.ItwastheunexpectedrealizationofthefactthathestillvaluedlifeaspresentedtohimintheformofhisloveforNatásha,andalast,thoughultimatelyvanquished,attackofterrorbeforetheunknown.

           Itwasevening.Asusualafterdinnerhewasslightlyfeverish,andhisthoughtswerepreternaturallyclear.Sónyawassittingbythetable.Hebegantodoze.Suddenlyafeelingofhappinessseizedhim.

           “Ah,shehascome!”thoughthe.

           Andsoitwas:inSónya’splacesatNatáshawhohadjustcomeinnoiselessly.

           Sinceshehadbegunlookingafterhim,hehadalwaysexperiencedthisphysicalconsciousnessofhernearness.

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