Dr. Seward’s Diary

           20August. ThecaseofRenfieldgrowsevenmoreinteresting. Hehasnowsofarquietedthattherearespellsofcessationfromhispassion. Forthefirstweekafterhisattackhewasperpetuallyviolent. Thenonenight,justasthemoonrose,hegrewquiet,andkeptmurmuringtohimself. "NowIcanwait.NowIcanwait." 

           Theattendantcametotellme,soIrandownatoncetohavealookathim. Hewasstillinthestraitwaistcoatandinthepaddedroom,butthesuffusedlookhadgonefromhisface,andhiseyeshadsomethingoftheiroldpleading. Imightalmostsay,cringing,softness. Iwassatisfiedwithhispresentcondition,anddirectedhimtoberelieved. Theattendantshesitated,butfinallycarriedoutmywisheswithoutprotest. 

           Itwasastrangethingthatthepatienthadhumourenoughtoseetheirdistrust,for,comingclosetome,hesaidinawhisper,allthewhilelookingfurtivelyatthem, "TheythinkIcouldhurtyou!Fancymehurtingyou!Thefools!" 

           Itwassoothing,somehow,tothefeelingstofindmyselfdisassociatedeveninthemindofthispoormadmanfromtheothers,butallthesameIdonotfollowhisthought. AmItotakeitthatIhaveanythingincommonwithhim,sothatweare,asitwere,tostandtogether. OrhashetogainfrommesomegoodsostupendousthatmywellbeingisneedfultoHim? Imustfindoutlateron. Tonighthewillnotspeak. Eventheofferofakittenorevenafull-growncatwillnottempthim. 

           Hewillonlysay, "Idon’ttakeanystockincats.Ihavemoretothinkofnow,andIcanwait.Icanwait." 

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