Dr. Seward’s Diary

           19August. —StrangeandsuddenchangeinRenfieldlastnight. Abouteighto’clockhebegantogetexcitedandsniffaboutasadogdoeswhensetting. Theattendantwasstruckbyhismanner,andknowingmyinterestinhim,encouragedhimtotalk. Heisusuallyrespectfultotheattendantandattimesservile,buttonight,themantellsme,hewasquitehaughty. Wouldnotcondescendtotalkwithhimatall. 

           Allhewouldsaywas,"Idon’twanttotalktoyou. Youdon’tcountnow. Themasterisathand." 

           Theattendantthinksitissomesuddenformofreligiousmaniawhichhasseizedhim. Ifso,wemustlookoutforsqualls,forastrongmanwithhomicidalandreligiousmaniaatoncemightbedangerous. Thecombinationisadreadfulone. 

           Atnineo’clockIvisitedhimmyself. Hisattitudetomewasthesameasthattotheattendant. Inhissublimeself-feelingthedifferencebetweenmyselfandtheattendantseemedtohimasnothing. Itlookslikereligiousmania,andhewillsoonthinkthathehimselfisGod. 

           TheseinfinitesimaldistinctionsbetweenmanandmanaretoopaltryforanOmnipotentBeing. Howthesemadmengivethemselvesaway! TherealGodtakethheedlestasparrowfall. ButtheGodcreatedfromhumanvanityseesnodifferencebetweenaneagleandasparrow. Oh,ifmenonlyknew! 

           ForhalfanhourormoreRenfieldkeptgettingexcitedingreaterandgreaterdegree. Ididnotpretendtobewatchinghim,butIkeptstrictobservationallthesame. Allatoncethatshiftylookcameintohiseyeswhichwealwaysseewhenamadmanhasseizedanidea,andwithittheshiftymovementoftheheadandbackwhichasylumattendantscometoknowsowell.