Mina Harker’s Journal

           25September. IcannothelpfeelingterriblyexcitedasthetimedrawsnearforthevisitofDr.VanHelsing,forsomehowIexpectthatitwillthrowsomelightuponJonathan’ssadexperience,andasheattendedpoordearLucyinherlastillness,hecantellmeallabouther. Thatisthereasonofhiscoming.ItisconcerningLucyandhersleep-walking,andnotaboutJonathan. ThenIshallneverknowtherealtruthnow! HowsillyIam. Thatawfuljournalgetsholdofmyimaginationandtingeseverythingwithsomethingofitsowncolour. OfcourseitisaboutLucy. Thathabitcamebacktothepoordear,andthatawfulnightonthecliffmusthavemadeherill. Ihadalmostforgotteninmyownaffairshowillshewasafterwards. Shemusthavetoldhimofhersleep-walkingadventureonthecliff,andthatIknewallaboutit,andnowhewantsmetotellhimwhatIknow,sothathemayunderstand. IhopeIdidrightinnotsayinganythingofittoMrs.Westenra. Ishouldneverforgivemyselfifanyactofmine,wereitevenanegativeone,broughtharmonpoordearLucy. Ihopetoo,Dr.VanHelsingwillnotblameme. IhavehadsomuchtroubleandanxietyoflatethatIfeelIcannotbearmorejustatpresent. 

           Isupposeacrydoesusallgoodattimes,clearstheairasotherraindoes. Perhapsitwasreadingthejournalyesterdaythatupsetme,andthenJonathanwentawaythismorningtostayawayfrommeawholedayandnight,thefirsttimewehavebeenpartedsinceourmarriage. 

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