Chapter 8

           

           Anna,inthatfirstperiodofheremancipationandrapidreturntohealth,feltherselfunpardonablyhappyandfullofthejoyoflife.Thethoughtofherhusband’sunhappinessdidnotpoisonherhappiness.Ononesidethatmemorywastooawfultobethoughtof.Ontheothersideherhusband’sunhappinesshadgivenhertoomuchhappinesstoberegretted.Thememoryofallthathadhappenedafterherillness:herreconciliationwithherhusband,itsbreakdown,thenewsofVronsky’swound,hisvisit,thepreparationsfordivorce,thedeparturefromherhusband’shouse,thepartingfromherson—allthatseemedtoherlikeadeliriousdream,fromwhichshehadwakedupalonewithVronskyabroad.Thethoughtoftheharmcausedtoherhusbandarousedinherafeelinglikerepulsion,andakintowhatadrowningmanmightfeelwhohasshakenoffanothermanclingingtohim.Thatmandiddrown.Itwasanevilaction,ofcourse,butitwasthesolemeansofescape,andbetternottobroodoverthesefearfulfacts.

           Oneconsolatoryreflectionuponherconducthadoccurredtoheratthefirstmomentofthefinalrupture,andwhennowsherecalledallthepast,sherememberedthatonereflection.“Ihaveinevitablymadethatmanwretched,”shethought;“butIdon’twanttoprofitbyhismisery.Itooamsuffering,andshallsuffer;IamlosingwhatIprizedaboveeverything—Iamlosingmygoodnameandmyson.Ihavedonewrong,andsoIdon’twanthappiness,Idon’twantadivorce,andshallsufferfrommyshameandtheseparationfrommychild.

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