Анна Каренина

Chapter 15

           

           Standingstill,andlookingatthetopsoftheaspentreeswavinginthewind,withtheirfreshlywashed,brightlyshiningleavesinthecoldsunshine,sheknewthattheywouldnotforgiveher,thateveryoneandeverythingwouldbemercilesstohernowaswasthatsky,thatgreen.Andagainshefeltthateverythingwassplitintwoinhersoul.“Imustn’t,mustn’tthink,”shesaidtoherself.“Imustgetready.Togowhere?When?Whomtotakewithme?Yes,toMoscowbytheeveningtrain.AnnushkaandSeryozha,andonlythemostnecessarythings.ButfirstImustwritetothemboth.”Shewentquicklyindoorsintoherboudoir,satdownatthetable,andwrotetoherhusband:“Afterwhathashappened,Icannotremainanylongerinyourhouse.Iamgoingaway,andtakingmysonwithme.Idon’tknowthelaw,andsoIdon’tknowwithwhichoftheparentsthesonshouldremain;butItakehimwithmebecauseIcannotlivewithouthim.Begenerous,leavehimtome.”

           Uptothispointshewroterapidlyandnaturally,buttheappealtohisgenerosity,aqualityshedidnotrecognizeinhim,andthenecessityofwindinguptheletterwithsomethingtouching,pulledherup.“OfmyfaultandmyremorseIcannotspeak,because....”

           Shestoppedagain,findingnoconnectioninherideas.“No,”shesaidtoherself,“there’snoneedofanything,”andtearinguptheletter,shewroteitagain,leavingouttheallusiontogenerosity,andsealeditup.

           AnotherletterhadtobewrittentoVronsky.“Ihavetoldmyhusband,”shewrote,andshesatalongwhileunabletowritemore

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