Анна Каренина

Chapter 12

           Hetookhishatoffhishotheadandlayproppedonhiselbowinthelush,feathery,woodlandgrass.

           “Yes,Imustmakeitcleartomyselfandunderstand,”hethought,lookingintentlyattheuntrampledgrassbeforehim,andfollowingthemovementsofagreenbeetle,advancingalongabladeofcouch-grassandliftingupinitsprogressaleafofgoat-weed.“WhathaveIdiscovered?”heaskedhimself,bendingasidetheleafofgoat-weedoutofthebeetle’swayandtwistinganotherbladeofgrassaboveforthebeetletocrossoverontoit.“Whatisitmakesmeglad?WhathaveIdiscovered?

           “Ihavediscoverednothing.IhaveonlyfoundoutwhatIknew.Iunderstandtheforcethatinthepastgavemelife,andnowtoogivesmelife.Ihavebeensetfreefromfalsity,IhavefoundtheMaster.

           “OfoldIusedtosaythatinmybody,thatinthebodyofthisgrassandofthisbeetle(there,shedidn’tcareforthegrass,she’sopenedherwingsandflownaway),therewasgoingonatransformationofmatterinaccordancewithphysical,chemical,andphysiologicallaws.Andinallofus,aswellasintheaspensandthecloudsandthemistypatches,therewasaprocessofevolution.Evolutionfromwhat?intowhat?Eternalevolutionandstruggle....Asthoughtherecouldbeanysortoftendencyandstruggleintheeternal!AndIwasastonishedthatinspiteoftheutmosteffortofthoughtalongthatroadIcouldnotdiscoverthemeaningoflife,themeaningofmyimpulsesandyearnings.NowIsaythatIknowthemeaningofmylife:‘ToliveforGod,formysoul.

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