Вдалині від божевільного натовпу

XLIII. Fanny's Revenge

           Sheglidedrapidlyupanddowntheroom,aswasmostlyherhabitwhenexcited,herhandshangingclaspedinfrontofher,asshethoughtandinpartexpressedinbrokenwords:"O,Ihateher,yetIdon’tmeanthatIhateher,foritisgrievousandwicked;andyetIhateheralittle!Yes,myfleshinsistsuponhatingher,whethermyspiritiswillingorno!Ifshehadonlylived,Icouldhavebeenangryandcrueltowardsherwithsomejustification;buttobevindictivetowardsapoordeadwomanrecoilsuponmyself.OGod,havemercy!Iammiserableatallthis!"

           Bathshebabecameatthismomentsoterrifiedatherownstateofmindthatshelookedaroundforsomesortofrefugefromherself.ThevisionofOakkneelingdownthatnightrecurredtoher,andwiththeimitativeinstinctwhichanimateswomensheseizedupontheidea,resolvedtokneel,and,ifpossible,pray.Gabrielhadprayed;sowouldshe.

           Shekneltbesidethecoffin,coveredherfacewithherhands,andforatimetheroomwassilentasatomb.Whetherfromapurelymechanical,orfromanyothercause,whenBathshebaaroseitwaswithaquietedspirit,andaregretfortheantagonisticinstinctswhichhadseizeduponherjustbefore.

           Inherdesiretomakeatonementshetookflowersfromavasebythewindow,andbeganlayingthemaroundthedeadgirl’shead.Bathshebaknewnootherwayofshowingkindnesstopersonsdepartedthanbygivingthemflowers.Sheknewnothowlongsheremainedengagedthus.Sheforgottime,life,whereshewas,whatshewasdoing.Aslammingtogetherofthecoach-housedoorsintheyardbroughthertoherselfagain.

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