Вдалині від божевільного натовпу

XXXI. Blame—Fury

           IcanendurebeingtoldIaminthewrong,ifyouwillonlytellitmegently!Osir,willyounotkindlyforgiveme,andlookatitcheerfully?"

           "Cheerfully!Canamanfooledtoutterheart-burningfindareasonforbeingmerry?IfIhavelost,howcanIbeasifIhadwon?Heavensyoumustbeheartlessquite!HadIknownwhatafearfullybittersweetthiswastobe,howIwouldhaveavoidedyou,andneverseenyou,andbeendeafofyou.Itellyouallthis,butwhatdoyoucare!Youdon’tcare."

           Shereturnedsilentandweakdenialstohischarges,andswayedherheaddesperately,asiftothrustawaythewordsastheycameshoweringaboutherearsfromthelipsofthetremblingmanintheclimaxoflife,withhisbronzedRomanfaceandfineframe.

           "Dearest,dearest,Iamwaveringevennowbetweenthetwooppositesofrecklesslyrenouncingyou,andlabouringhumblyforyouagain.ForgetthatyouhavesaidNo,andletitbeasitwas!Say,Bathsheba,thatyouonlywrotethatrefusaltomeinfuncome,sayittome!"

           "Itwouldbeuntrue,andpainfultobothofus.Youoverratemycapacityforlove.Idon’tpossesshalfthewarmthofnatureyoubelievemetohave.Anunprotectedchildhoodinacoldworldhasbeatengentlenessoutofme."

           Heimmediatelysaidwithmoreresentment:"Thatmaybetrue,somewhat;butah,MissEverdene,itwon’tdoasareason!Youarenotthecoldwomanyouwouldhavemebelieve.No,no!Itisn’tbecauseyouhavenofeelinginyouthatyoudon’tloveme.Younaturallywouldhavemethinksoyouwouldhidefrommethatyouhaveaburningheartlikemine.

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