Почуття та чутливість

Chapter XLIV

           EvenTHEN,however,whenfullydeterminedonpayingmyaddressestoher,Iallowedmyselfmostimproperlytoputoff,fromdaytoday,themomentofdoingit,fromanunwillingnesstoenterintoanengagementwhilemycircumstancesweresogreatlyembarrassed.Iwillnotreasonhere—norwillIstopforYOUtoexpatiateontheabsurdity,andtheworsethanabsurdity,ofscruplingtoengagemyfaithwheremyhonourwasalreadybound.Theeventhasproved,thatIwasacunningfool,providingwithgreatcircumspectionforapossibleopportunityofmakingmyselfcontemptibleandwretchedforever.Atlast,however,myresolutionwastaken,andIhaddetermined,assoonasIcouldengageheralone,tojustifytheattentionsIhadsoinvariablypaidher,andopenlyassureherofanaffectionwhichIhadalreadytakensuchpainstodisplay.Butintheinterim—intheinterimoftheveryfewhoursthatweretopass,beforeIcouldhaveanopportunityofspeakingwithherinprivate—acircumstanceoccurred—anunluckycircumstance,toruinallmyresolution,andwithitallmycomfort.Adiscoverytookplace,"—herehehesitatedandlookeddown.—"Mrs.Smithhadsomehoworotherbeeninformed,Iimaginebysomedistantrelation,whoseinterestitwastodeprivemeofherfavour,ofanaffair,aconnection—butIneednotexplainmyselffarther,"headded,lookingatherwithanheightenedcolourandanenquiringeye—"yourparticularintimacy—youhaveprobablyheardthewholestorylongago.

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