Почуття та чутливість

Chapter XLIV

           Smith,wastosetmefree;yetthateventbeinguncertain,andpossiblyfardistant,ithadbeenforsometimemyintentiontore-establishmycircumstancesbymarryingawomanoffortune.Toattachmyselftoyoursister,therefore,wasnotathingtobethoughtof;—andwithameanness,selfishness,cruelty—whichnoindignant,nocontemptuouslook,evenofyours,MissDashwood,caneverreprobatetoomuch—Iwasactinginthismanner,tryingtoengageherregard,withoutathoughtofreturningit.—Butonethingmaybesaidforme:eveninthathorridstateofselfishvanity,IdidnotknowtheextentoftheinjuryImeditated,becauseIdidnotTHENknowwhatitwastolove.ButhaveIeverknownit?—Wellmayitbedoubted;for,hadIreallyloved,couldIhavesacrificedmyfeelingstovanity,toavarice?—or,whatismore,couldIhavesacrificedhers?—ButIhavedoneit.Toavoidacomparativepoverty,whichheraffectionandhersocietywouldhavedeprivedofallitshorrors,Ihave,byraisingmyselftoaffluence,losteverythingthatcouldmakeitablessing."

           "Youdidthen,"saidElinor,alittlesoftened,"believeyourselfatonetimeattachedtoher?"

           "Tohaveresistedsuchattractions,tohavewithstoodsuchtenderness!—Isthereamanonearthwhocouldhavedoneit?—Yes,Ifoundmyself,byinsensibledegrees,sincerelyfondofher;andthehappiesthoursofmylifewerewhatIspentwithherwhenIfeltmyintentionswerestrictlyhonourable,andmyfeelingsblameless.

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