Chapter XVI

           

           MariannewouldhavethoughtherselfveryinexcusablehadshebeenabletosleepatallthefirstnightafterpartingfromWilloughby.Shewouldhavebeenashamedtolookherfamilyinthefacethenextmorning,hadshenotrisenfromherbedinmoreneedofreposethanwhenshelaydowninit.Butthefeelingswhichmadesuchcomposureadisgrace,leftherinnodangerofincurringit.Shewasawakethewholenight,andsheweptthegreatestpartofit.Shegotupwithaheadache,wasunabletotalk,andunwillingtotakeanynourishment;givingpaineverymomenttohermotherandsisters,andforbiddingallattemptatconsolationfromeither.Hersensibilitywaspotentenough!

           Whenbreakfastwasovershewalkedoutbyherself,andwanderedaboutthevillageofAllenham,indulgingtherecollectionofpastenjoymentandcryingoverthepresentreverseforthechiefofthemorning.

           Theeveningpassedoffintheequalindulgenceoffeeling.SheplayedovereveryfavouritesongthatshehadbeenusedtoplaytoWilloughby,everyairinwhichtheirvoiceshadbeenoftenestjoined,andsatattheinstrumentgazingoneverylineofmusicthathehadwrittenoutforher,tillherheartwassoheavythatnofarthersadnesscouldbegained;andthisnourishmentofgriefwaseverydayapplied.Shespentwholehoursatthepianofortealternatelysingingandcrying;hervoiceoftentotallysuspendedbyhertears.Inbookstoo,aswellasinmusic,shecourtedthemiserywhichacontrastbetweenthepastandpresentwascertainofgiving.Shereadnothingbutwhattheyhadbeenusedtoreadtogether.

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