Chapter 50

           

           Matrimonialdifferencesareusuallydiscussedbythepartiesconcernedintheformofdialogue,inwhichtheladybearsatleastherfullhalfshare.ThoseofMrandMrsQuilp,however,wereanexceptiontothegeneralrule;theremarkswhichtheyoccasionedbeinglimitedtoalongsoliloquyonthepartofthegentleman,withperhapsafewdeprecatoryobservationsfromthelady,notextendingbeyondatremblingmonosyllableutteredatlongintervals,andinaverysubmissiveandhumbletone.Onthepresentoccasion,MrsQuilpdidnotforalongtimeventureevenonthisgentledefence,butwhenshehadrecoveredfromherfainting-fit,satinatearfulsilence,meeklylisteningtothereproachesofherlordandmaster.

           OftheseMrQuilpdeliveredhimselfwiththeutmostanimationandrapidity,andwithsomanydistortionsoflimbandfeature,thatevenhiswife,althoughtolerablywellaccustomedtohisproficiencyintheserespects,waswell-nighbesideherselfwithalarm.ButtheJamaicarum,andthejoyofhavingoccasionedaheavydisappointment,bydegreescooledMrQuilp’swrath;whichfrombeingatsavageheat,droppedslowlytothebanteringorchucklingpoint,atwhichitsteadilyremained.

           ‘SoyouthoughtIwasdeadandgone,didyou?’saidQuilp.‘Youthoughtyouwereawidow,eh?Ha,ha,ha,youjade.’

           ‘Indeed,Quilp,’returnedhiswife.‘I’mverysorry

           ‘Whodoubtsit!’criedthedwarf.‘Youverysorry!tobesureyouare.

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