Почуття та чутливість

Chapter XXXVII

           Andallthishasbeengoingonatatime,when,asyouknowtoowell,ithasnotbeenmyonlyunhappiness.—Ifyoucanthinkmecapableofeverfeeling—surelyyoumaysupposethatIhavesufferedNOW.ThecomposureofmindwithwhichIhavebroughtmyselfatpresenttoconsiderthematter,theconsolationthatIhavebeenwillingtoadmit,havebeentheeffectofconstantandpainfulexertion;—theydidnotspringupofthemselves;—theydidnotoccurtorelievemyspiritsatfirst.—No,Marianne.—THEN,ifIhadnotbeenboundtosilence,perhapsnothingcouldhavekeptmeentirely—notevenwhatIowedtomydearestfriends—fromopenlyshewingthatIwasVERYunhappy."—

           Mariannewasquitesubdued.—

           "Oh!Elinor,"shecried,"youhavemademehatemyselfforever.—HowbarbaroushaveIbeentoyou!—you,whohavebeenmyonlycomfort,whohavebornewithmeinallmymisery,whohaveseemedtobeonlysufferingforme!—Isthismygratitude?—IsthistheonlyreturnIcanmakeyou?—Becauseyourmeritcriesoutuponmyself,Ihavebeentryingtodoitaway."

           Thetenderestcaressesfollowedthisconfession.Insuchaframeofmindasshewasnowin,Elinorhadnodifficultyinobtainingfromherwhateverpromisesherequired;andatherrequest,Marianneengagednevertospeakoftheaffairtoanyonewiththeleastappearanceofbitterness;—tomeetLucywithoutbetrayingthesmallestincreaseofdisliketoher;—andeventoseeEdwardhimself,ifchanceshouldbringthemtogether,withoutanydiminutionofherusualcordiality.

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