Почуття та чутливість

Chapter XXXVII

           —"Socalm!—socheerful!—howhaveyoubeensupported?"—

           "ByfeelingthatIwasdoingmyduty.—MypromisetoLucy,obligedmetobesecret.Iowedittoher,therefore,toavoidgivinganyhintofthetruth;andIowedittomyfamilyandfriends,nottocreateinthemasolicitudeaboutme,whichitcouldnotbeinmypowertosatisfy."

           Marianneseemedmuchstruck.

           "Ihaveveryoftenwishedtoundeceiveyourselfandmymother,"addedElinor;"andonceortwiceIhaveattemptedit;—butwithoutbetrayingmytrust,Inevercouldhaveconvincedyou."

           "Fourmonths!—andyetyoulovedhim!"—

           "Yes.ButIdidnotloveonlyhim;—andwhilethecomfortofotherswasdeartome,IwasgladtosparethemfromknowinghowmuchIfelt.Now,Icanthinkandspeakofitwithlittleemotion.Iwouldnothaveyousufferonmyaccount;forIassureyouInolongersuffermateriallymyself.Ihavemanythingstosupportme.Iamnotconsciousofhavingprovokedthedisappointmentbyanyimprudenceofmyown,Ihaveborneitasmuchaspossiblewithoutspreadingitfarther.IacquitEdwardofessentialmisconduct.Iwishhimveryhappy;andIamsosureofhisalwaysdoinghisduty,thatthoughnowhemayharboursomeregret,intheendhemustbecomeso.Lucydoesnotwantsense,andthatisthefoundationonwhicheverythinggoodmaybebuilt.—Andafterall,Marianne,afterallthatisbewitchingintheideaofasingleandconstantattachment,andallthatcanbesaidofone’shappinessdependingentirelyonanyparticularperson,itisnotmeant—itisnotfit—itisnotpossiblethatitshouldbeso.

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