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Mr. Weller the elder delivers some Critical Sentiments respecting Literary Composition; and, assiste

           Isnowoutofworkandpenniless;thinksitmustbetheporter(cheers)orthelossoftheuseofhisrighthand;isnotcertainwhich,butthinksitverylikelythat,ifhehaddrunknothingbutwaterallhislife,hisfellow-workmanwouldneverhavestuckarustyneedleinhim,andtherebyoccasionedhisaccident(tremendouscheering).Hasnothingbutcoldwatertodrink,andneverfeelsthirsty(greatapplause).

           ‘BetsyMartin,widow,onechild,andoneeye.Goesoutcharingandwashing,bytheday;neverhadmorethanoneeye,butknowshermotherdrankbottledstout,andshouldn’twonderifthatcausedit(immensecheering).Thinksitnotimpossiblethatifshehadalwaysabstainedfromspiritsshemighthavehadtwoeyesbythistime(tremendousapplause).Used,ateveryplaceshewentto,tohaveeighteen-penceaday,apintofporter,andaglassofspirits;butsinceshebecameamemberoftheBrickLaneBranch,hasalwaysdemandedthree-and-sixpence(theannouncementofthismostinterestingfactwasreceivedwithdeafeningenthusiasm).

           ‘HenryBellerwasformanyyearstoast-masteratvariouscorporationdinners,duringwhichtimehedrankagreatdealofforeignwine;maysometimeshavecarriedabottleortwohomewithhim;isnotquitecertainofthat,butissureifhedid,thathedrankthecontents.Feelsverylowandmelancholy,isveryfeverish,andhasaconstantthirstuponhim;thinksitmustbethewineheusedtodrink(cheers).

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