Крошка Доррит

Chapter 30. Closing in

           If,inthis,Ipunishedherhere,didInotopentoherawayhereafter?Ifsheknewherselftobesurroundedbyinsatiablevengeanceandunquenchablefires,weretheymine?IfIthreatenedher,thenandafterwards,withtheterrorsthatencompassedher,didIholdtheminmyrighthand?’

           Sheturnedthewatchuponthetable,andopenedit,and,withanunsofteningface,lookedattheworkedletterswithin.

           ‘Theydidnotforget.Itisappointedagainstsuchoffencesthattheoffendersshallnotbeabletoforget.IfthepresenceofArthurwasadailyreproachtohisfather,andiftheabsenceofArthurwasadailyagonytohismother,thatwasthejustdispensationofJehovah.Aswellmightitbechargeduponme,thatthestingsofanawakenedconsciencedrovehermad,andthatitwasthewilloftheDisposerofallthingsthatsheshouldliveso,manyyears.Idevotedmyselftoreclaimtheotherwisepredestinedandlostboy;togivehimthereputationofanhonestorigin;tobringhimupinfearandtrembling,andinalifeofpracticalcontritionforthesinsthatwereheavyonhisheadbeforehisentranceintothiscondemnedworld.Wasthatacruelty?WasI,too,notvisitedwithconsequencesoftheoriginaloffenceinwhichIhadnocomplicity?Arthur’sfatherandIlivednofurtherapart,withhalftheglobebetweenus,thanwhenweweretogetherinthishouse.Hedied,andsentthiswatchbacktome,withitsDonotforget.IdoNOTforget,thoughIdonotreaditashedid.Ireadinit,thatIwasappointedtodothesethings.

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