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Containing the Story of the Bagman’s Uncle

           

           ‘Butblessyourheartsandeyebrows,allthissortofthingwasnothingtomyuncle!Hewassowellseasoned,thatitwasmerechild’splay.IhaveheardhimsaythathecouldseetheDundeepeopleout,anyday,andwalkhomeafterwardswithoutstaggering;andyettheDundeepeoplehaveasstrongheadsandasstrongpunch,gentlemen,asyouarelikelytomeetwith,betweenthepoles.IhaveheardofaGlasgowmanandaDundeemandrinkingagainsteachotherforfifteenhoursatasitting.Theywerebothsuffocated,asnearlyascouldbeascertained,atthesamemoment,butwiththistriflingexception,gentlemen,theywerenotabittheworseforit.

           ‘Onenight,withinfour-and-twentyhoursofthetimewhenhehadsettledtotakeshippingforLondon,myunclesuppedatthehouseofaveryoldfriendofhis,aBailieMacsomethingandfoursyllablesafterit,wholivedintheoldtownofEdinburgh.Therewerethebailie’swife,andthebailie’sthreedaughters,andthebailie’sgrown-upson,andthreeorfourstout,bushyeye–browed,canny,oldScotchfellows,thatthebailiehadgottogethertodohonourtomyuncle,andhelptomakemerry.Itwasaglorioussupper.Therewaskipperedsalmon,andFinnanhaddocks,andalamb’shead,andahaggisacelebratedScotchdish,gentlemen,whichmyuncleusedtosayalwayslookedtohim,whenitcametotable,verymuchlikeaCupid’sstomachandagreatmanyotherthingsbesides,thatIforgetthenamesof,butverygoodthings,notwithstanding.

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