Крошка Доррит

Chapter 4. A Letter from Little Dorrit

           Thereisanimprovementinmyuncletoo,Ithink,thoughhenevercomplainedofold,andneverexultsnow.Fannyisverygraceful,quick,andclever.Itisnaturaltohertobealady;shehasadaptedherselftoournewfortuneswithwonderfulease.

           ThisremindsmethatIhavenotbeenabletodoso,andthatIsometimesalmostdespairofeverbeingabletodoso.IfindthatIcannotlearn.MrsGeneralisalwayswithus,andwespeakFrenchandspeakItalian,andshetakespainstoformusinmanyways.WhenIsaywespeakFrenchandItalian,Imeantheydo.Asforme,IamsoslowthatIscarcelygetonatall.AssoonasIbegintoplan,andthink,andtry,allmyplanning,thinking,andtryinggoinolddirections,andIbegintofeelcarefulagainabouttheexpensesoftheday,andaboutmydearfather,andaboutmywork,andthenIrememberwithastartthattherearenosuchcaresleft,andthatinitselfissonewandimprobablethatitsetsmewanderingagain.Ishouldnothavethecouragetomentionthistoanyonebutyou.

           Itisthesamewithallthesenewcountriesandwonderfulsights.Theyareverybeautiful,andtheyastonishme,butIamnotcollectedenough—notfamiliarenoughwithmyself,ifyoucanquiteunderstandwhatImean—tohaveallthepleasureinthemthatImighthave.WhatIknewbeforethem,blendswiththem,too,socuriously.

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