Крошка Доррит

Chapter 5. Family Affairs

           IcannotsaythatIhavebeenabletoconformmyself,inheartandspirit,toyourrules;IcannotsaythatIbelievemyfortyyearshavebeenprofitableorpleasanttomyself,oranyone;butIhavehabituallysubmitted,andIonlyaskyoutorememberit.’

           Woetothesuppliant,ifsuchaonetherewereoreverhadbeen,whohadanyconcessiontolookforintheinexorablefaceatthecabinet.Woetothedefaulterwhoseappeallaytothetribunalwherethosesevereeyespresided.Greatneedhadtherigidwomanofhermysticalreligion,veiledingloomanddarkness,withlightningsofcursing,vengeance,anddestruction,flashingthroughthesableclouds.Forgiveusourdebtsasweforgiveourdebtors,wasaprayertoopoorinspiritforher.SmiteThoumydebtors,Lord,witherthem,crushthem;doThouasIwoulddo,andThoushalthavemyworship:thiswastheimpioustowerofstoneshebuiltuptoscaleHeaven.

           ‘Haveyoufinished,Arthur,orhaveyouanythingmoretosaytome?Ithinktherecanbenothingelse.Youhavebeenshort,butfullofmatter!’

           ‘Mother,Ihaveyetsomethingmoretosay.Ithasbeenuponmymind,nightandday,thislongtime.ItisfarmoredifficulttosaythanwhatIhavesaid.Thatconcernedmyself;thisconcernsusall.’

           ‘Usall!Whoareusall?’

           ‘Yourself,myself,mydeadfather.’

           Shetookherhandsfromthedesk;foldedtheminherlap;andsatlookingtowardsthefire,withtheimpenetrabilityofanoldEgyptiansculpture.

           ‘YouknewmyfatherinfinitelybetterthanIeverknewhim;andhisreservewithmeyieldedtoyou.

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