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Chapter 34. A Shoal of Barnacles

           Yes,therewasLordDecimusTiteBarnacle,whohadrisentoofficialheightsonthewingsofoneindignantidea,andthatwas,MyLords,thatIamyettobetoldthatitbehovesaMinisterofthisfreecountrytosetboundstothephilanthropy,tocrampthecharity,tofetterthepublicspirit,tocontracttheenterprise,todamptheindependentself-reliance,ofitspeople.Thatwas,inotherwords,thatthisgreatstatesmanwasalwaysyettobetoldthatitbehovedthePilotoftheshiptodoanythingbutprosperintheprivateloafandfishtradeashore,thecrewbeingable,bydintofhardpumping,tokeeptheshipabovewaterwithouthim.OnthissublimediscoveryinthegreatartHownottodoit,LordDecimushadlongsustainedthehighestgloryoftheBarnaclefamily;andletanyill-advisedmemberofeitherHousebuttryHowtodoitbybringinginaBilltodoit,thatBillwasasgoodasdeadandburiedwhenLordDecimusTiteBarnacleroseupinhisplaceandsolemnlysaid,soaringintoindignantmajestyastheCircumlocutioncheeringsoaredaroundhim,thathewasyettobetold,MyLords,thatitbehovedhimastheMinisterofthisfreecountry,tosetboundstothephilanthropy,tocrampthecharity,tofetterthepublicspirit,tocontracttheenterprise,todamptheindependentself-reliance,ofitspeople.ThediscoveryofthisBehovingMachinewasthediscoveryofthepoliticalperpetualmotion.Itneverworeout,thoughitwasalwaysgoingroundandroundinalltheStateDepartments.

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