Крошка Доррит

Chapter 30. The Word of a Gentleman

           

           ‘Pardonme,sir,’shereturned,‘ifIdoubtthelikelihoodofagentlemanofpleasure,andchange,andpoliteness,accustomedtocourtandtobecourted—’

           ‘Ohmadam!ByHeaven!’

           ‘—IfIdoubtthelikelihoodofsuchacharacterquitecomprehendingwhatbelongstomineinmycircumstances.Nottoobtrudedoctrineuponyou,’shelookedattherigidpileofhardpalebooksbeforeher,‘(foryougoyourownway,andtheconsequencesareonyourownhead),Iwillsaythismuch:thatIshapemycoursebypilots,strictlybyprovedandtriedpilots,underwhomIcannotbeshipwrecked—cannotbe—andthatifIwereunmindfuloftheadmonitionconveyedinthosethreeletters,IshouldnotbehalfaschastenedasIam.’

           Itwascurioushowsheseizedtheoccasiontoarguewithsomeinvisibleopponent.Perhapswithherownbettersense,alwaysturninguponherselfandherowndeception.

           ‘IfIforgotmyignorancesinmylifeofhealthandfreedom,ImightcomplainofthelifetowhichIamnowcondemned.Ineverdo;Ineverhavedone.IfIforgotthatthisscene,theEarth,isexpresslymeanttobeasceneofgloom,andhardship,anddarktrial,forthecreatureswhoaremadeoutofitsdust,Imighthavesometendernessforitsvanities.ButIhavenosuchtenderness.IfIdidnotknowthatweare,everyone,thesubject(mostjustlythesubject)ofawraththatmustbesatisfied,andagainstwhichmereactionsarenothing,Imightrepineatthedifferencebetweenme,imprisonedhere,andthepeoplewhopassthatgatewayyonder.

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