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Chapter 19. The Father of the Marshalsea in two or three Relations

           

           ‘WhatdoesitmatterwhetherIeatorstarve?Whatdoesitmatterwhethersuchablightedlifeasminecomestoanend,now,nextweek,ornextyear?WhatamIworthtoanyone?Apoorprisoner,fedonalmsandbrokenvictuals;asqualid,disgracedwretch!’

           ‘Father,father!’Asheroseshewentonherkneestohim,andheldupherhandstohim.

           ‘Amy,’hewentoninasuppressedvoice,tremblingviolently,andlookingatheraswildlyasifhehadgonemad.‘Itellyou,ifyoucouldseemeasyourmothersawme,youwouldn’tbelieveittobethecreatureyouhaveonlylookedatthroughthebarsofthiscage.Iwasyoung,Iwasaccomplished,Iwasgood-looking,Iwasindependent—byGodIwas,child!—andpeoplesoughtmeout,andenviedme.Enviedme!’

           ‘Dearfather!’Shetriedtotakedowntheshakingarmthatheflourishedintheair,butheresisted,andputherhandaway.

           ‘IfIhadbutapictureofmyselfinthosedays,thoughitwaseversoilldone,youwouldbeproudofit,youwouldbeproudofit.ButIhavenosuchthing.Now,letmebeawarning!Letnoman,’hecried,lookinghaggardlyabout,‘failtopreserveatleastthatlittleofthetimesofhisprosperityandrespect.Lethischildrenhavethatcluetowhathewas.Unlessmyface,whenIamdead,subsidesintothelongdepartedlook—theysaysuchthingshappen,Idon’tknow—mychildrenwillhaveneverseenme.

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