Менсфілд Парк

Chapter XLVII

           Shewasastonished,exceedinglyastonished—morethanastonished.Isawherchangecountenance.Sheturnedextremelyred.IimaginedIsawamixtureofmanyfeelings:agreat,thoughshortstruggle;halfawishofyieldingtotruths,halfasenseofshame,buthabit,habitcarriedit.Shewouldhavelaughedifshecould.Itwasasortoflaugh,assheanswered,’Aprettygoodlecture,uponmyword.Wasitpartofyourlastsermon?AtthisrateyouwillsoonreformeverybodyatMansfieldandThorntonLacey;andwhenIhearofyounext,itmaybeasacelebratedpreacherinsomegreatsocietyofMethodists,orasamissionaryintoforeignparts.’Shetriedtospeakcarelessly,butshewasnotsocarelessasshewantedtoappear.Ionlysaidinreply,thatfrommyheartIwishedherwell,andearnestlyhopedthatshemightsoonlearntothinkmorejustly,andnotowethemostvaluableknowledgewecouldanyofusacquire,theknowledgeofourselvesandofourduty,tothelessonsofaffliction,andimmediatelylefttheroom.Ihadgoneafewsteps,Fanny,whenIheardthedooropenbehindme.’Mr.Bertram,’saidshe.Ilookedback.’Mr.Bertram,’saidshe,withasmile;butitwasasmileill-suitedtotheconversationthathadpassed,asaucyplayfulsmile,seemingtoinviteinordertosubdueme;atleastitappearedsotome.Iresisted;itwastheimpulseofthemomenttoresist,andstillwalkedon.Ihavesince,sometimes,foramoment,regrettedthatIdidnotgoback,butIknowIwasright,andsuchhasbeentheendofouracquaintance.

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